Thursday, December 25, 2008

Early Resolution

I'm never going to touch E's fireplace insert again. A few weeks ago I came home and started a fire. Everything was going great until I tried to fit a particularly large log into the fireplace. A small part was sticking out. I figured maybe I could shut the door and it would squeeze it the rest of the way in. Did I mention the door is glass? Yeah, you guessed it. The log never did fit. The glass objected rather strenuously to pushing in that log too...it cracked.

I, of course, freaked. All I could envision was a $400 door replacement. Fortunate for me, all it required was a $100 glass fix. I paid for it, E was talked through the installation and voila! door as good as new. Minus the lovely etching of ducks taking wing over a pond too (E always hated that).

Now comes today. E's off at little e's other mom's house for Christmas lunch. I come home after hanging out at Mike's house all morning to get things started for our ham dinner. I decide to start a fire. Things go swimmingly...the fire is roaring, the room is heating up, all looks great.

I poke the fire for the 4th time and when it comes time to shut the door, it won't shut. Strange...what's the problem? I open the door and the fireproof cable that acts as a seal falls out. More freaking. Luckily E's got fireproof gloves because I'm frantically trying to squeeze that cable back in along the door frame. I say a few very choice words. The damn thing won't stay in. The fire proof gloves are smoking a bit the door is so hot. My arm is baking due to the raging fire I've managed to get going in the fireplace. I never did get the damn thing in. Even Mike couldn't get it to stay in. From the looks of it a glue/sealant needs to be applied.

It's not New Year's day yet but I know what my resolution will be. I am never, ever going to touch that fireplace again. E can make all the fires. She can feed them and poke them. I'll be a passive, non-destructive enjoyer of the fireplace. I think it's best that way.

Tamara

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