Pheasant McNuggets Contest Entry 7

Another keen entry folks. But this doesn't mean we don't want more of them, so please, for the enjoyment of all, send us more.

For the record, I want to state that while I'm no Emeril, I am a very good, very competent cook as a general rule. I've only had maybe four or five failed experiments my entire life. Half of those are baking misadventures. While the Amelia Bedelia (children's book series -- go read 'em whether you have kids or not -- she cooks by the "a little of this and a little of that" school of thought) approach works for me in most things, I can't bake without a recipe. I don't know why. I keep trying anyway when a chance comes up. It's fun until I have to eat it.

My most inedible misadventure would have to be the oatmeal walnut raisin rock cookies. I know, how the heck can you screw up *cookies*? I was visiting my dad back four or five years ago and by chance, so was my sister. Alcohol was involved at some point. Poker just isn't poker without a drink or ten. As tends to be the case, my sis and I got hungry and started looking around for something to eat. Dad had a box of raisins and two bags of walnut pieces someone had given him without thinking. He didn't have any teeth and couldn't stand raisins, so they did him absolutely no good.

The only way I like raisins is in oatmeal raisin cookies. I'd made cookies lots of times in high school; how hard could it be? My sis is always up for adventure of any sort and Dad had no objections, so we put our heads together to figure out a course of action. The truly sad thing is our grandpa -- Dad's dad -- was a baker by trade for thirty or forty years and the things he could make just out of his head.... Didn't make it all the way down the line, I guess.

We gathered our ingredients -- flour, oatmeal, baking powder, sugar, eggs, walnuts and raisins. Dad only had a liquid measuring cup, so we had to guess on the dry goods. I don't think exact measurements would've helped much, though. I don't remember exactly, but I think we used two or three cups of flour, one cup sugar, one or two cups of oatmeal, one or two teaspoons of baking powder, three eggs, water (a cup or two maybe? Three?) until it was thick, but not too thick, and all the raisins and walnuts we could get to fit.

The dough looked good and we were hopeful it'd all work out. We put a tablespoon or so of dough at a time all along a cookie sheet and put it in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for maybe 10 or 15 minutes. We might've passed the time with a celebratory drink or three; I don't remember. I have a vague memory of being sober up to that point.

They were a lovely golden brown, but otherwise didn't have much aesthetically pleasing going for them. They didn't flatten out, so they looked like very warty boobs. (Too bad we didn't think of it at the time -- we could've stuck a raisin on top for nipples. That's exactly the kind of thing my sis -- and my dad for that matter -- would do. Maybe I'm a proper Berry after all.) I'm surprised I didn't chip a tooth -- they were rock hard. You could've broken a window with those things.

Milk didn't help much. If you soaked them for ten minutes you could eat them, but they didn't taste right. Not enough sugar. I think there was too much flour and not enough baking powder too. Maybe we didn't use any baking powder at all now that I think of it. I have a vague recollection of choosing cookies because they didn't need to rise like muffins would. I don't think we ever did eat them all. Neither of us were that masochistic, even after drowning our sorrows the rest of the night. You can't get drunk enough to eat oatmeal raisin walnut rock cookies.

S. Berry

I'm not sure how many cookies I've enjoyed that have the word "rock" in their name. That may be a very good thing. Okay, folks, take the time and thank S. Berry for joining in our fun and, if you want some enjoyable reading material check out her stories.

Once again off to the updates. Enjoy.

Elisa

Blade

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