Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Fencing Lessons...sort of

Reisen wasn't well. I was up all night with him on Thursday, took him to the vet Friday and then was up all night Friday. He's got an infection (to be precise a UTI). Vet thinks he picked it up rolling in something unpleasant on one of his walks. (He does that a lot, that's Retrievers for you.) Probably tainted water she said. (Kids chuck stuff into the stream). Personally I reckon it was the two-week-plus-dead rabbit's head he found and lovingly brought back for me.

I could doze in between bouts of dosing him with antibiotics and his frequent (like every 45 minutes) trips into the garden for a pee, but all the same I was completely exhausted by early Saturday morning. Not really helped by the fact that all day and night Friday we had torrential rain and gale-force wind. A whole month's rainfall in around 4 hours...

Around 5am I let him out for yet another pee and idly watched the garden. I must have been tired because it was about 20 minutes before I realised he was standing stock still and watching the back fence swaying. In fact it was swaying backwards and forwards about 60 degrees. This is no mean feet because it's 2 metres high and 7 metres long (about 6 foot 5 by 22 feet). And held up by four posts 15cm by 15 cm thick, (6 inches by 6 inches). I had visions of it falling on him and squashing him so flat that I could slide him under the door. I got him in, put my boots on and went to investigate. Two steps into the garden and I realised it was a mistake. I could barely stand upright against the wind and I already looked like a drowned rat.

It took me 10 minutes to reach the fence. When I got there I promptly stood banging my head on it before turning around and going back indoors for some tools. And rope. Getting back in was a lot quicker. I fought my way down the garden again and started to try and hold the fence. Big mistake. I'm strong (stronger than I look) but I couldn't hold it against the wind. I went out through the gate and tried to get at it from the other side. The wind was stronger outside. The grass isn't very soft when you hit it face first. I managed to protect my shoulder though.

I crawled to the fence and stood up, grabbing it again. It blew inwards and took me with it. Then out again. It was like a fairground ride. I couldn't decide if I was having fun or not. I probably would have if I hadn't been soaking wet and freezing cold. I tried to get the rope on it all the while going to and fro. No luck. I tried propping it in place with another chunk of wood. The wood snapped. A strong gust blew me over and I heard the fence groan. I grabbed it, desperately trying to hold it in place. There was a dreadful crashing sound and it broke. The 15cm posts snapped like toothpicks and the fence flew sideways. Carrying me with it, perched prone on the top, like a flying carpet. Fortunately my weight was enough to bring it to ground quickly. Before it could take out the French windows. The force buried it into the lawn slightly so I knew it wasn't going to move again.

So there I was lying on the fence. When I heard a voice. The kid. Yelling. "Are you f***ing INSANE". I thought about that for a moment and concluded the answer was yes.

I crawled up the garden and into the house. I'm not sure exactly what she said to me but boy she yelled a lot. There were more swear-words. And comments about my sanity. And questions as to whether I was suicidal. I think there was a threat about double-pneumonia in there somewhere, too.

Reisen sat and watched. I'm not sure but I think he was laughing at me. I'll get my revenge for that though. As soon as his infection is completely cured I'm going to bath him. With flea shampoo. That teach him!!

But first I need some good weather. I have to build a new fence. Or maybe a wall.

Hope your weather is better. Goodnight and may your God/s go with you.


Ze

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