I'm old!! Sobs!!

It's official. I'm old. I'm going to have to head into retreat and retire from the trials and tribulations of the world. Know any good convents??

Why?? Well, it all started at the pet-shop I regularly use. There's a really cute assistant there. I flirt with her. Have done for at least 18 months. I flirt with all - female - shop assistants. And waitresses. And the post-woman. I'm an incorrigible flirt. A friend once told me that if I were locked, alone, in a room totally devoid of furniture except for an empty cardboard box, I would flirt with the box. She's probably right. Anyway, I flirt with this assistant and was doing so this past Friday when she suddenly said her shift ended in ten minutes and was I free to go for a coffee. I was gob-smacked. For two reasons, firstly nobody takes flirting seriously and secondly she's only about 19 or so. way too young to even look twice at me. I said yes. (What?? I'm too old for her but I'm not daft!! She's cute.)

She suggested we pop into Tesco and grab something in their coffee shop. I apologised and told her I'm banned from Tesco after an unfortunate accident with a cabbage, a screaming kid and some bananas. She looked at me funny but didn't enquire further. We went to a nearby fast-food place instead. A KFC. I don't think I've ever been in one before. Paying a king's ransom for a cup of the worst coffee I've had all year (even worse than the instant I had to have when the coffee machine died) we found a table. She looked incredibly embarrassed and asked if I was seeing anybody. I said nope. Then she asked if I wanted to see anybody. I said "Pardon??" Because she really was too young for me.

Then came the awful, awful, soul-destroying part. The part that told me I had finally passed from reasonably young, through not-too-old-yet and had hit old.

She said her mother was gay and had been single for some time and was lonely so she (the cute assistant) was taking it on herself to try and find her mam a partner. And she thought I was just her mam's type.

I'm no longer a suitable partner for cute assistants. I'm now a suitable partner for... mothers!!

What could I do??

I asked if she had a photo of her mam, of course.

Ze

BtVS

• Chapter 15 of Impulse by ophelia11 (Through the Looking Glass).
  
  
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• Chapter 16 of Voices by Bobbi (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
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• Possessions by Alsike (C M Femslash).
  
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• Chapter 2 of Irony by Gen (ivy_rachel).
  
  
• A Quiet Night by nitratefilm (ivy_rachel).
  
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  Original
  
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  Stargate SG-1
  
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