Spam

No, not the former trademark brand-name of a variety of luncheon meat called spiced ham. I'm talking about that ubiquitous rubbish that turns up in my email. Weird stuff. A bit comes via a yahoo group or two but most is directly addressed - probably still via yahoo groups with addresses culled by bots. It's the subjects that I find weird. Ok - there's the odd email (frequently entirely in upper-case) from somebody in Nigeria who can't spell for toffee but is just dying to give me anything from four to ten million dollars simply because I have a kind face (hah!!) if I'll just be completely stupid enough to send them my bank details or a fee of several thousand pounds. Those don't turn up that often these days. Then there are the ones that tell me Natasha a 26 year old from Russia is simply desperate to meet me (must be that kind face again) because she just knows I'm the man for her (boy is she in for a shock). Or the porn ones which always seem to say nothing but "great site click this link" - yeah right - my face looks kind but does it really look that stupid (do not answer thank you!!). These are all mildly amusing.

The ones that really make me laugh though (sometimes I'll even open them and read them just for extra chuckles) are the ones that offer to increase the length, girth or ability of a body part that I don't possess. The descriptions of what this wonder drug will do for my (non-existent) "manhood" or the various feats of human endeavour that I'll be able to perform with it are hysterical if you're in the right mood. Though sometimes I'm torn between wondering if men are really that insecure and wondering if they think that women really like to be "pounded through the bedsprings" or "impaled on a massive tool" (my mind always pictures a box of giant chisels for some reason). Men must be a lot more insecure than women. After all - none of the Spam ever offers me a wonder drug that will increase the size of a couple of body parts I do have. Not that I'd be interested. While I may not be particularly well-endowed in that area I've always thought that more than a mouthful is a waste... and on that note, enjoy your updates and have a good week.

Ze

BSG

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  BtVS
  
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• Soul Shatter by Trish (Willow/Tara Fiction Archive).
  
  
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• I Want You to Want Me by Tara's Shadow (Willow/Tara Fiction Archive).
  
  
• I Need You to Need Me by Tara's Shadow (Willow/Tara Fiction Archive).
  
  
• Split Second by Latsric (Willow/Tara Fiction Archive).
  
  
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