Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Shopping

I hate it. Something you have to do though, isn't it. Well, it is if you want to eat. I like to eat so I guess I have to shop. It was my turn today. Working on the wrong side of town this week so I couldn't go to one of my preferred supermarkets (Sainsbury's, Lidl or the Co-op). Had to go to Tesco. I hate Tesco. I can never find anything. True to form I had trouble. Found petfood with no problem but it turns out that Tesco don't stock the kid's favourite brand. Personally I reckon her cats will eat anything if they're hungry enough but still... I managed to find the second choice. Found the coffee. They don't stock my favourite brand. They don't stock my second favourite brand. I bought the smallest size I could get of the brand they did stock. I'll have to make a separate trip to Sainsbury's later in the week.

Then I realised that I'd forgotten to buy veggies - which are of course right by the entrance. I eventually managed to make the trolley (wonky-wheel of course) go in the direction I wanted not the direction it wanted and headed back. No red onions. There seemed to be a theme developing here. Ok - second choice - brown onions. No green apples. Sod it - I'm not buying red ones!! Then a cabbage. The list said a nice, solid, round one, big as a bowling ball - not a wimpy bunch of greens. I picked up a couple to see how solid they were. The trolley - spotting its chance - made a bid for freedom. I grabbed for it. I had to let go of the cabbages.

Did you know that cabbages bounce??

A toddler, seeing one bounce towards him shouted "football" and gave it a hefty kick. He hurt his foot and started screaming. It was a good shot though. The cabbage flew quite a distance. Eventually a nice stack of this week's special offer - 12-packs of toilet rolls - stopped it. You know how when you drop a cup of coffee there's at least ten times as much coffee on the floor as could possibly fit in the mug?? Well toilet rolls have a similar reaction. It took three assistants a good ten minutes to pick them up. If I'd been fragile I could have been really wounded by the looks they were giving me. I decided that I didn't want a cabbage after all. Especially since the toddler was still screaming. I swung the trolley round to head for the checkout. The wonky wheel bit again. I went left. It went right. The bananas went flying.

You can't slip on a banana skin. Honest you can't. It just isn't possible. You can, however, slip on banana flesh that has been squeezed out of its skin by a trolley wheel running over it.

The duty manager looked up at me from his position on the floor as he wiped banana from his rather nice suit. "You are leaving now, aren't you sir??" He said, it wasn't really a question. It sounded more like a threat. I decided that discretion was the better part of valour and telling him that I wasn't a sir, since I'm female, probably wouldn't be good for my health. He opened a fresh checkout especially for me.

I don't think I'll be shopping there again. I really don't like Tesco anyway.

Ze

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