Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Ramble from Phair

A special request tonight from phair.
On Begging

I don't approve of begging. It is frowned upon by my Irish heritage and the proper Bostonian environment I grew up around. However, begging is just what I've been doing for the last week and will continue to do for the foreseeable future. And, it is what I've come here to do as well.

I've not come to ask for something as transient as money or as fleeting as buyers for my book or support for my writing.

I've come, instead, to beg for hope.

You see, I received improbable, impossible, impractical news about my only sister seven days ago. It was at once joyous and terrifying. I felt my heart fly high with instant wonder then the icy tendrils of terror grabbed hold and I lingered for days on the brink on despair.

Despair is an unforgivable sin, in my father's faith and my mother's religion. I may be distant from those practices but not from the memories of what I was taught was right. And, what to do when I'm most afraid. After days of worry and sleepless nights, I found myself in a church; furious to be on my knees and relieved the building was open in the middle of a work day. There were little differences since the last time I was there: prayers written on cue cards for lapsed souls like mine and electric candles instead of smoke and wax to flicker pleas into life.

I took all I had to mutter, "Please, please, please, oh just please."

Will it work? I don't know which is better than just saying no. But, the result is not the point of this, I think. The story is not what I came here to say or to ask or to beg.

Hypocrite that I am, I've come to beg you to wish a wish for me. Wish for the courage to continue to hope come whatever may. And, not just for me but for you and us and they and them. In whatever tradition you have from your previous yous or whatever path you embrace today. Send a prayer, visit the sick, remember the dead, burn incense, go to temple, hug a tree, read a passage from a holy book, think 101 good thoughts, put a message in a bottle, create positive energy, smile, let somebody else go first, wave to a stranger, thank the mail carrier, be good to yourself, hug your kid one more time than you need to, send an email; help me be hopeful in this seemingly hopeless world.

If you don't, I won't know but if you do then I'd like to hear from you.

best,
phair


One thing I can say about this online world is that once times get tough for folks, goodness shines through. Show phair what that's all about. Join me in sending her our thoughts of hope.

Elisa

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