It was not my fault.

Honestly it wasn't. I was nowhere near it at the time. I was right on the other side of the site. And besides, I don't have a current chainsaw certificate so I couldn't have done it anyway.

I may be a trifle accident-prone but it's personal, not locational. I only cause havoc to myself. I am not a Jonah. I do not emit sonic waves that cause other people to have accidents. It isn't fair to blame me simply because I was somewhere on site.

Ok. I'll admit that the slight miscalculation involving the precise length of the scaffolding pole, which caused it to impact with the greenhouse window, thereby breaking a pane of glass, was completely my fault. But I totally reject the hypothesis that the sound of breaking glass so shocked the tree surgeon that he cut down the wrong tree. He should have checked the tags. He's a tree surgeon, damnit, he should know all about tree preservation orders. He should also be able to tell the difference between three 20 year old alders (as specified by the work-sheet) that need removing so that we can finish the entrance road, and one seventy year old, protected, horse chestnut that's 25 metres away from the entrance!!

He'll have to pay the fine himself, I'm not contributing to it!! He can try and blame me all he likes, but it won't wash. So there.

Oh blimey. I've just looked at today's date and realised that this Friday is a Friday 13th. Oh boy. If chaos, destruction and mayhem follow in my wake on ordinary days, can you imagine what might happen on Friday 13th.

I think I'll call in sick and spend the day in bed. Wrapped in bubble-wrap. Holding a fire-extinguisher. And a first aid kit. And my EpiPen (in case of stray bees).

Good luck you lot. See you next week (I hope *g*). Goodnight and may your God/s go with you.

Ze

BtVS

• Chapter 20 of Becoming by kmi85 (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  Criminal Minds
  
• Chapter 10 of Take My Hand and Show Me the Way by author18 (Women in Kevlar).
  
  Doctor Who
  
• Sneak Preview by swan_secrets (D W femslash).
  
  Law & Order: SVU
  
• Chapter 5 of One More Makes Two by majeska (Alex_Liv_Lovers).
  
  Legend of the Seeker
  
• Learning the Rules & An Old Mord 'Sith Tradition by mysensitiveside (LotS Femslash).
  
  Legend of the Seeker/Camelot Crossover
  
• Chapter 1 of Castle Pendragon by carapendragon (LotS Femslash).
  
  
• Chapter 2 of Castle Pendragon by carapendragon (LotS Femslash).
  
  Merlin
  
• Put Down Your Sword by alice_vd (Ladies of Camelot).
  
  
• If We Are Monsters alice_vd (Ladies of Camelot).
  
  Original
  
• Part 2 of Runaway Priestress by Orhea (Royal Academy of Bards).
  
  Rizzoli & Isles
  
• Breaking the Code by Dev (Clom n Dev's S-O-N fanfiction).
  
  Stargate SG-1
  
• General Hammond's Visit (Spring Break In New York 23) by romansilence (Area 52).
  
  
• N L P (Spring Break In New York 24) by romansilence (Area 52).
  
  Xena Warrior Princess
  
• Xena Warrior Princess Episode 13 Royal Academy of Bards Part 1 by Bard (Royal Academy of Bards).