Ponds Are Not Golden

Whatever the movie led you to believe. They aren't. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

There are some lucky souls who go through life almost untouched by accidents. They never seem to fall off things, or over things. They never seem to drop things, break things, spill things. And they're often heard to remark that they've "never broken a bone" or that they "might have twisted their ankle once but they can't really say for sure". And you sort of wonder how they manage to live such a charmed life.

Then there are the ordinary folk. The everyday majority. They have the occasional trip. Once in a while they'll spill something. They might even break a bone at some point in their life.

Then there are those like me. The disaster zones. Who seem to be magnets, possessed of an irresistible power to drag every single catastrophe in this, and several neighbouring countries, right to their feet. People who don't so much walk through life as stagger from one incident to the next. Who, if there's something that can be dropped, spilt, walked into, fallen over or broken, will inevitably manage to do just that.

I've been working on a refurbishment job these past two weeks. Gutting & partially rebuilding a house extension. My bit was to repaint inside and out. It's a nice house, with a nice garden but the extension was put up by a right cowboy and seriously diminishes its attractions. It looks a whole lot better now.

Anyway. There was I, on the flagstone patio painting the outside wall (said patio very extensively protected from spillage!!). I was having a spot of trouble reaching the whole wall because there was a largish concrete ornamental bench in the way. They'd positioned it at a nice angle for sitting by the pond but at a very bad angle for painting the wall. I wasn't about to try to pick it up and move it because it looked damned heavy. But I thought I might be able to nudge it out of the way a bit. With this in mind I leant against it and gave it a push with my knee.

Who the hell builds a concrete bench where the top isn't fixed to the legs!!

It went over very gracefully. The top slid sideways and the legs folded beneath it. I wish I could say the same about me. I was completely off balance and fell forwards. Head first.

The pond was not golden. It was not a nice, clean goldfish pond. No, it was as black as a colliers armpit. And a foot deep in sludge. It's a "natural" pond. The householders are very eco-minded. Lots of nice scum - I mean algae - covering it. And absolutely full of tadpoles.

Tadpoles get everywhere. I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut but I was picking tadpoles out of my hair and clothes for hours.

Surprisingly the bench was undamaged. But I'm covered in bruises. And when I got home and went to put my (stinking) clothes in the washer I found a tadpole in my shirt pocket, still alive!! I put it in a beer glass full of water. I added a small piece of pond weed (from my jeans) and some algae slime (from my boots) and it's swimming around quite happily at the moment. But what the hell am I supposed to do with a bloody tadpole?? I'm not about to become surrogate parent to a flamin' frog!!

I can't take it home - the job's finished and we're somewhere else tomorrow. My sister says I can put it in her pond but are tadpoles territorial?? Do they recognise and attack strangers?? If I put it there will her resident tadpole hordes gang up on it?? Or will it settle in to its new home and family without trauma?? (Well, other than the trauma of finding itself trapped in my shirt pocket for two hours...)

I'll have to do some research before I pack its little suitcase and send it off to make its way in the world.

Until then, see you next week. Goodnight and may your God/s go with you.

Ze

BtVS

• Chapter 1 of Standing on the Edge by FuffyAddict17 (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  
• Chapter 48 of Ten by Ten by liljemsey (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  
• Chapter 1 of Weighted by EdenLeeRaven (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  
• Chapter 26 of This Is How It Goes by NoSuchAnimal (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  
• Chapter 5 of Watch my back by Jinxgirl (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  
• Chapter 3 of Some Things Never Change by Hera (BuffynFaith.Net).
  
  Harry Potter
  
• Whatever Comes by Bitterfig (Saffic).
  
  Law & Order: SVU
  
• Chapters 19-22 of Condicio Sine Qua Non by miri_cleo, future_imp47 and twtd (Saffic).
  
  Legend of the Seeker
  
• What Courses Through Our Veins by orange_creative (LotS Femslash).
  
  
• Don't Play With (Powerful) Magic by hibernate (LotS Femslash).
  
  
• Absolve by shopfront (LotS Femslash).
  
  
• Part 2 of Home is the Place Where it Feels Right to Walk Around Without Agiels by seriousfic (LotS Femslash).
  
  Original
  
• Chapter 10.19 of Flowers of Edo by Nene Adams (Her website).
  
  Stargate SG-1
  
• Cotton And Silk by Geonn (Area 52).
  
  Star Trek XI (Reboot movie)
  
• They Say It's Your Birthday by tristesses (Where No Woman).