Saturday, February 27, 2010

A ramble, a request and lots to read!

A ramble (part 1) from the one and only phair.
I'm beyond half way. More than midway through my life. There is little chance of me getting to be ninety two. To get to ninety two, you need to have some basic building blocks from your gene pool. Like, some direct line ancestor living to their ninety second birthday. An eighty second birthday, at least. I'm in a direct heredity line of mid seventies survivors. There is not one eighty year old among my three grandparents who knew how old they actually were. My Dad's mom does not factor into the equation. She had hedged and fibbed and outright lied about her age so much, she forgot how old she really was. However, she remembered it was important to keep the lies going. So, if you take the average of my parents' ages when they died then I'm looking at about thirty more years of living.

There are not guarantees, of course. There was no guarantee I'd get this far. Life's only constant in inconsistency. Anything could happen and a lot of it usually does. But, I've always planned for the future. No, I was not some kind of self motivated overachiever. I was a victim of my parents' ambition. They were stage parents who were not seeking a theater stage for their offspring. My parents were grooming professions and future home owners. This is the odd part. My parents were entertainers; singers and musicians. Their dreams for their children shunned the bright lights of music or acting and embraced the roles of doctors, nurses, accountants. Mom and Dad dared to pray their children would grow up and garnerfive figure salaries. Imagine their thrill, when in my first six months out of graduate school I made more than my Dad's last full year working before retirement. I thought my mother would orgasm right there at the kitchen table doing my 1988 taxes. She didn't but the imagery is still vivid.

A well planned life will face interruptions. No way to avoid the drama of the daily grind regardless of how well you map out your child's future during the last semester of first grade. I failed first grade, by the way. Then I complicated my mother's corrective actions by failing second grade. Mom and Dad were not deterred. They informed the school my low grades were due to the teachers' incompetence. I was enrolled in a different school and did marginally better which allowed Mom and Dad to re-sketch their plans for my future. However, the reimagining of my future imaginary life included a backup plan at every level. JUST IN CASE, the first grade teachers were not entirely incompetent.

Our array of back up plans included, multiple school switches and a move from the city to the suburbs. College prep high school? Absolutely! Typing elective to be on the safe side? Definitely! College applications? Yes. Ivy league University, small private college, smaller public college, and tiny junior college selections? Positively! Much to my surprise and my parents' faith, I manage to get accepted by both midrange colleges. Then to shock and horror of my high school guidance counselor, who informed me I needed a job where pictures were put on the cash register keys, I was accepted to a graduate school after successfully finishing college in four years. Okay, it took three years to get through the two year masters program but I finished and nobody has asked about the extra year since my first job as a professional.

I built an impressive career since then. I live in a nice home in a location I always dreamed about living. There is food eat in my kitchen and fuel to keep me warm and get me from here to there. Some months are tighter for cash flow than others but it is because of the things I want versus the bare necessities of living. Lap of luxury? Not really. Living comfortably? Yes...sort of.

I walked away from my day job last week. It was a career first for me. My boss knew I was leaving and was supportive of the decision but wanted thirty days. More than reasonable. It was all very civil. You might even say friendly. It was based on mutual respect and the knowledge I have a new job starting soon and the site I was leaving would be covered. No problems, I just needed to work through my notice.

But...couldn't do it. Down to the last four days, I walked out. Packed my meager possessions and handed in my name badge.

I'm in a freefall.


We will be posting part 2 (of sorts) shortly. Now a request from a reader:

Would you be able to assist in finding a story that is no longer posted anywhere I can find on the web? It was a series called "Unbroken" written by Carrie Ryan and K. Darblyn. The beginning of the second series "Unbroken: Wedding bells" is still online but it says to contact the authors for the first series. Problem, can't find the authors. Do you know the best way for me to beg, borrow or buy this series? Any input would help. It took me a week to recall the name now I am just determined to find the story. Thanks from one Tamara to another. :)


Tamara (a different one)

There you have it, can someone please help this Tamara out?

Thanks and have a great night!

Elisa

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